Brownies

I have to admit, I can't turn down brownies. I'm getting much better about not eating so many sweets and things that generally unhealthy. But I can't refuse brownies. I don't make them very often because I'm not joking when I say I can eat a whole pan of brownies in one day. My nephew made brownies yesterday (thanks Kade!) and they were scrumptious! It was a good thing I had to leave to come back home only a few hours after they were made because I was able to keep my consumption down to just 3 LARGE brownies.

First Day of School

I have to admit that even though I've been worrying about, crying over and denying the inevitability of this day, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Now I know that he's only doing preschool two days a week and he isn't really "officially" registered in school, but my boy started school today. He went to bed really early without any problems last night in anticipation of today. Somehow through all my worrying, I actually wasn't as well prepared as I should have been: one tennis shoe was never found and his snack was only half packed. But we made it and he did great! It was a little bittersweet, but I didn't even shed a tear today. Really it was fun getting him out of the car, putting his backpack on him, signing him in, introducing him to his new teacher and then walking out the door. He came back excited and actually said, "Mom, today is an excellent day." Then he broke out into his own song that didn't really have a defined tune, but the words went something like this, "Today is a great day! Today I went to preschool!" I couldn't help but laugh and realize that my son growing up is exciting for me too when I see him learn new things and gain important experiences. Today was a great day! Today my son went to preschool!

Overambitious Errands

I have to admit, sometimes I'm over ambitious with my errand-running. Like today for example, I had about 10 things that I needed to pick up that ranged from big (like the water drums) to small (like screws). I thought if I just took out the captain seats in the middle that I would have plenty of room...which I did after taking some things out of there boxes and shoving things here, there and everwhere. 

Sometimes, though, the overambition comes from not the quantity I need to carry, but overestimating my children's patience with errand running. Don't let these faces fool you, after I got the doors shut and the car on, the thumbs came out of the mouths and they let me have it. Apparently doing all my errands in one day doesn't always work for them.

Power Tools

I have to admit, I feel like THE WOMAN having just purchased several power tools for my upcoming tiling project. We shouldn't be proud, I know, but it's amazing how cool you feel when you walk into Home Depot knowing exactly what tools you want (having researched the best buys before getting there) and being able to have an intelligent conversation with the workers when they ask if they can help and you know exactly what power, size, weight that you want your tools to be. Let's just say I wasn't the only one impressed with me. Ha, just kidding. But really I feel extremely excited and empowered having the right tools to get this job done. Hopefully I'll be posting awesome pictures soon of my project (if it turns out awesome...otherwise you'll just get pictures of my failed attempt).

Do-It-Yourself

I have to admit, I love doing do-it-yourself projects...as long as they save money. I love to learn new skills and put them to use. Even though, this is the case, I still feel that I am seriously lacking in some key skills such as using a saw. If push came to shove, I think I could do it, but I'm by no means experienced doing it. I'm also lacking in the electricity department. I would LOVE to know how to take out one fixture and put in another one. Well really I don't have alot of experience doing much of anything but your basics (crafting, lightbulb changing, computer trouble-shooting), but I want to. My dad is INCREDIBLE when it comes to knowing something about everything and I would love to be that. What would it be like to have the skills necessary to build your own house if you needed to? Or what would it be like to be an Iron Chef? Or maybe even an accomplished hair dresser? My skills are seriously lacking in these areas, but the desire is there. I've made a goal (haven't stuck to it really well, but it's there all the same) to read some kind of a non-fiction book every month to expand my knowledge of practical things. So far I've started several, but have yet to finish any of them (sad, I know) but even having not finished them, I've gained lots just by reading through part of them. I've kind of gotten off my do-it-yourself topic, but I'll pull it around, one of the books that I want to check out next is a tile do-it-yourself book. We have a bathroom that's carpet currently, but needs to be tile instead. Wouldn't it be so awesome if I could do it myself? What bragging rights!

Preschool

I have to admit, I'm the one having a hard time sending my boy to preschool, not him. For months (well maybe it's even been a year now) my husband has been trying to convince me that our son needs preschool. "He'll love it. I loved it when I was his age". These are his convincing words. And yet, I'm still not convinced. For months he pushed me and pushed me until in a fit of uncontrolled tears, I finally admitted what I hadn't admitted out loud to anyone, "This is it for me! This is all the time I'm going to get with our kids. We're done and that's that. But I want to savor every second I get with them." The truth was out. I wanted to savor every moment with my children because all too soon, they will all be in school and my little clan will be growing up. That admission has been out for months now too and I've been slowly getting used to the idea.

Today, I made the big step of checking out the preschool that my hubby would like our son to go to for the rest of the school year. It was really good and I was excited that he would be learning and experiencing all the things that would be good for him. Then why the nagging still in the back of my head? I realized that not only will I be facing the reality of my children being old enough to be in school and having a few hours a day to myself, but then I have to really take responsibility for what that means in my life. I'm sure not until they are in all-day school, but sometime, I'm going to have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I will still be fairly young when my kids are graduated from high school; let's just say I can easily put in 20 years before the retirement age. I know I may be getting ahead of myself because that's still years and years away. But I can't help thinking that I was limited in my child-bearing for a reason. And now I have to figure out what that is...and for some reason that scares me.

Church

I have to admit, Church is much easier to sit through when I don't have my kids with me. I was able to sit and listen the whole time and (not that I don't feel this way on Sundays that my kids are with me, but just not usually) I even came away feeling uplifted and ready to take on the world. Even though it's not fun to come home to a house full of sickness, it was great to get a break and have it be a spiritually uplifting one at that.

Cooking Shows

I have to admit, I am a huge fan of the cooking shows Chopped and Challenge. I don't think I'm a great cook, but sure can appreciate those who are. Last night I didn't eat a big dinner and about 9 when I was watching Chopped, I couldn't help salivating over the tasty things they were cooking up. Who knows, maybe I can just absorb some of that talent if I just watch enough shows. Certainly I've learned a few things about foods that I'd never even heard of before, so maybe there is still hope...

Teaching

I have to admit, I am a terrible teacher. When Paul was in school and needed some help in his math classes, I would try to help him and we would inevitably end up in an argument. I thought at the time that it was just him wanting me to explain the whole concept in one sentence (which definitely was part of the problem). Since having children and attempting to teach them things in a preschool-type setting, I've realized that I am TERRIBLE at it. My mother in-law taught James so much during the couple of months she was with us after the girls were born including his numbers 1-10, his letters and nearly potty-training him. Since then, I've taught him what all the letters say and he's memorized some words, but somehow I don't know how to help him connect knowing the sounds of the letters and sounding out a word so that he can read. And I don't know how to explain in a way he gets the concept of numbers 11-20. The girls don't seem to be making any progress in their colors or potty-training either. I must include, though, that my attempts are not as consistant as they ought to be, but I get it in when I can. However, I've still made my conclusion: I must be a less-than-stellar teacher. It's a good thing they'll have ample opportunity to be taught by those who have a talent in teaching, otherwise I think we'd be in trouble.

Treadmill Running

I have to admit, I am so wimpy with my exercise when I get to hot. Currently I am running throughout the week on my treadmill and I'm finding it harder and harder to keep up the running as the temperature of the room gets higher and higher. I do have fans blowing on me, but somehow it doesn't make enough difference. Maybe it's a combination of the heat and boredom, but I do not reach my mileage goals very often when I have to do it on a treadmill. Ironically, though, the higher my goals, the longer I run. I wonder if I can actually trick my mind into thinking I'm going to run a really long run, when really I'll just stop when I reach my true goal....

Administering Medicine

I have to admit I am a no-nonsense, mean sort of mom when it comes to administering medicine. I'm sure that my husband thinks I'm almost cruel sometimes with my techniques. He would be more inclined to wait, talk it out with the child, make sure they're ready and if they fight, give them a few more minutes. While I, on the other hand, am not opposed to the straight-jacket method of administering medicine to get my kids well.

Currently, each of my kids has pink eye and (as anyone who's administered eye drops knows) it was a fight with each one to get those drops in. By the end, I was literally straddled across my son's chest pinning his arms to his sides, his feet kicking at my back so that I could get those dang drops in. Whew! I made it, though, and hopefully next time he'll see that it's not that bad... I know what you all are thinking, but there's the hope, right?

Nap Times

I have to admit: I'm not productive during my kids nap times. By the time it comes around in the afternoon, I am ready for a break. So while the house may be in a state of total uproar, I many times sit idly by and read a book or catch up on emails or any other number of things that aren't terribly important, but are completely relaxing. In this admission though, I feel I also need to admit that I don't like being this way. While there may be days when rest is more important than housework, there are equally many days that I've lazed away time when I should have been more productive. I want to change this about my coveted nap time, so maybe in time I'll have to amit that I've made that change. :)

A Place to Blab

I have to admit that I feel like I'm living one big lie sometimes. So here's my way of making myself feel better. While doing my best to look put together yet relaxed, athletic yet feminine, organized but not anal, kind yet firm, aware of what's going on with peopole but not a busy-body, laid back but not lazy....(I'll stop there because my list can go on and on) I HAVE TO ADMIT: I FAIL! Time and time and time again, I fail at what seems to be the easiest things. But you know what else, I HAVE TO ADMIT: I SUCCEED. Sometimes I succeed and then I fail. Sometimes I fail and then I succeed. But this blog is meant to be the admission of who I really am. My talents and my flaws. My likes and my dislikes. My joys and my sorrows. And each day, if I get around to it (again one of those things that's on my list leading to perfection) I'm going to admit one thing about myself. Brace yourself because you might just be shocked at some of the things you'll read like, I'LL ADMIT IT: I've burned macaroni and cheese before. Ha, just kidding that's not shocking necessarily, just sad. But truly, I'm going to admit things because they will help me reach my ultimate goal: to recognize who I am and love me just the way I am; to recognize who I am and adjust those things that I don't like instead of pretending it's not really me; and to let you all know that (hopefully I'm not alone in these things) there is someone out there that struggles with, feels about, hopes for, secretly loves the same things you do.